“We have come here to celebrate Bette’s life and how she has influenced each of us. As most of you know we have been married for over 30 years this year. You may not know we met in college, and after going out together for only 6 weeks we were engaged. A little over a year later we were married.
We all know what good person she was and how she helped others. From her concern about violence against women – to how she took time out to take care of her Mother in Florida because she was concerned all of the pressure of that care would not fall entirely on her other sisters and brothers. When I was sick and in Mass General she stayed at my side reassuring me. She was there when my parents died helping me make decisions I was not capable of making at the time. She was my rock. My Lover. My BEST FRIEND!
I will let other tell you of Bette’s influence and Love.
Now I would like to ask you what I believe Bette would want of you. Continue all the good work she has started. Treat others with the concern, caring, and respect she gives everyone. Be honest and forthright.
…And lastly I know she would be concerned about me. She knows how I can fall apart… She has been more than half of my life. We were two people but we shared one soul. We lived for each other. We did almost everything together. I hope others will speak of our marriage and relationship as seen by outsiders. But those that know us well already know of our Love.
I will need all of your help (Bette would want this too I believe). I have never lived alone! I am so scared… Bette was and did everything for me and with me. I ask for your help. There is now such a big hole in my life I still can not comprehend it. I can not tell you how much I appreciate this outpouring of Love for her and me. But I know as the days – weeks – and months wear on you will all return to your normal lives. My life will continue to be torn apart. There is no way Bette can ever be replaced and I do not expect that. I just ask that you all help watch over me. Bette would want that. My Love for her is so overwhelming. As is my loss.
When we were in Bermuda for our 30 Anniversary a waiter asked how our marriage worked so well. He was a newly wed and having problems getting use to married life. I told him we have always done the following: When you wake up kiss and say I LOVE YOU and mean it, whenever you part whether it is just to go to the corner store, to work, or on a log trip Kiss and say I LOVE YOU, When you return say I LOVE YOU and kiss, and do things together, not just vacations and the fun stuff. Find hobbies you both like. The only thing I can think of we did not do together was play musical instruments. I could never learn to play anything but I always enjoyed listening to her playing and singing. In the last few years I was able to share her music in the form of Karaoke.
Bette and I had a little game we have played since before we were married. We would never kiss once. It was always three times. Good things come in threes. In public it may look like one kiss but there were always the three kisses. When we were alone sometimes our kisses would be out of sync so we would have to keep doing it until we got three together.
There is so much more I would like to say but words fail me now.
Everyone please stand up and hug the people next to you (unless you have the flu) and tell them how you love them. …And think of Bette.
And I ask again for Bette please watch over me in the days, weeks, months, and hopefully years to come. I am so scared of being alone and by myself. Since the time I started writing this many of you have contacted me in one way or another and offered to help with what ever I need. This helps but I don’t know what I need. I can barely think and eat right now my grief is so great. I hope we all can stay in contact. It could just be an email or phone call, but I hope we stay in physical contact and it does not take another tragedy like this to bring us together.
Thank you all.”
Bette’s Loving Husband Jaime
I would like to thank everyone that came to the services for your outpouring of Love and support. I am really overwhelmed.
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