Eight long (short) months

It has been eight months since Bette died. This will probably be posted little bit late, as I am in upstate New York at one of the Finger Lakes right now and Internet access is a little iffy. I've been spending the week with Bette's sisters and friends. A lot of reminiscing about Bette, things that we've all done with her, the way she would react to certain situations, and just different stories involving Bette. Also to a lesser extent what we think Bette would've wanted. I think it's been good talking about her this way. We've also been making some memories without Bette being physically here. It's been so very hard. I've tried to be somewhat stoic but the tears come to my eyes. Right now the hardest time is bedtime, when I am back by myself with my thoughts. The tears flow more freely at night when I'm by myself here. I'm not looking forward to the end of the week when I have to make that long drive home and leave these wonderful people. It will be seven or eight hours of me on the road by myself, with my thoughts, remembering the good times, and the bad. I do have a time coming up soon when I will be with all of Bette's siblings and their families. I am looking forward to that.

I was at a car show Sunday and I've had many people ask me about the license plate on the car. I think most people expect that I am naming the car after my daughter, girlfriend, or wife. But not that it's named after Bette because she has left this world of ours. When I tell them the whole mood changes, as one would expect, in most cases people say they have no idea how they would react to something like that. I've been somewhat surprised by the reactions I get from the men. Most say they have no idea how they would go on without their wife. I am wondering if maybe a little bit of it is that the men expect to die before their wives. So the whole concept of losing someone so quickly and completely is foreign to them. I know it was to me. I think most people would set up their life insurance to assure their wife will be set if and when the husband dies, because the man usually dies before the woman. Most of the life insurance tends to be in husband's name for the wife, not the other way around. Luckily Bette and I had found the most caring and wonderful financial advisor. He really got to know us and what we were like, our past, and what we wanted for our future, for each other in retirement and old age, and heaven forbid should one of die first. I don't know what I would've done without Scott - the rest of my/Bette's family and our friends.

Thank you so much...

PS I would highly recommend Scott – if you want him to contact you please let me know. I cannot say enough good things about him and the work he has done for me and Bette.